Ladeer&Co.

Admittedly the human civilization has come a long way from the days when women were inferior and black people were slaves. On second thought, on many parts of the world women still are treated unequally and discrimination on religious or racial ground continue to prevail. Fortunately at least on this continent that we call home, we do enjoy the fruit of our past fights for freedom.

Men are not the people who can file for divorces. Women too can choose whom they mate. As a result of that, sadly for men and perhaps for women too, the word "cheater" is not exclusive for the owners of Y chromatid (the singular form of chromosomes).

Embedded in human and not immune to Christians are emotions such as jealousy, lust and hate. Unorthodox as it may sound, love and hate are often neighbors of a very thin line that often gets blurred by betrayal, greed or, did I mention, betrayal.

Responding to the reciprocal of the most powerful and enchanting force of nature--love, we might become vengeful or at the very least, wanting the world to know about the wrong done to us. Not uncommon to us, organizations such as PETA or Voice of Martyr actively publicize injustice done to animals or Christians, so why should we feel otherwise about one of the most hurtful thing that could be done to a heart, regardless how excusable it be?

Yes, I was not a good boy friend to her. I constantly blamed her for the failing of our relationship, judging that I needed a more mature girl friend. Maybe I did not cheat on her, but in a way I did. I made her believe in me and give her heart to me, but at the same time I trampled on it and tore it apart. I was a jerk and I still am.

I had been on the receiving end of what I did to her, and I hope she finds comfort in knowing that I found it to be uncomfortable, to say the least.

My comfort however is rooted in seeing that she is doing well, and most importantly, in a relationship with someone who clearly deserves her. Her boyfriend now deserves her because he sees her values; he deserves her because unlike me, he is not arrogant and egocentric. Above all else, he deserves her because he is loyal to her.

Sad, isn't it, that promises and happy memories could be so transient in life? The most beautifully adorned ceremony cannot give any more assurance to a happy marriage. Just like all things beautiful are prone to break, seemingly nothing in this world we relentlessly try to clutch stay.

Often when we Christians--the majority of my audience--encounter such emotions as anger and betrayal, after a time of expressing those emotions, we act like laureates of Nobel Peace Prize. We actually apologize for the said expressing! Well, maybe not exactly an apology, but I assure you will not lack good-hearts people who try to bring you to your senses, in other words, talk you into believing that in expressing your feeling online or staying angry, you are being, ah, what is the word, "unfair."

Regrets of what you had expressed, you might take down what you wrote, verbally apologize, or even sincerely feel sorry. Oh brothers, do not let those well wished words of your loving friends turn you into a bitch of the transgression done to you. What you feel is as valid as any victim of any crime. If the villain is sipping the prized wine of his or her tasteless deed in a cozy fireplace room snuggling with his or her newfound (and God forbid it to last) love, you do not need to feel sorry at the least bit.

Really, I don't hate cheaters, because we all are weak and capable of the same crime. I won't even look down on them, otherwise I have to look down on myself first. But seriously, when someone wrongs, he or she has the unpleasant duty of facing the consequences of it.

Yes, you appear to be a bigger person when you actually feel bad for expressing your anger, for letting the world know the wrong done to you, but at the same time you are also a coward in my book, a coward that cannot even stand up after losing a fight, a coward that allows other people's petty, worthless and inconsiderate advices to make you feel sorry for your anger that you absolutely have the every right to have. After all, we all must understand that the burden of apology is rested not on the victim, but those who had chosen to add another weight of regret, shame and guilt to their already tragic lives, like mine.