Wednesday, October 25, 2006
To be or not to be?
Would you choose eternal happiness over eternal sadness?
http://www.xanga.com/jujubean45/538228989/item.html
Interestingly I thought of heaven in a very similar [yet scarily heretic] way.
When I was taught that Christians ought to long for the immediate reunion with Christ, I could not get myself to believe that I really would rather go to heaven at this very moment than [supposedly] continue the suffering on this unjust earth. In other words, Christians with the correct attitude of living should have so little hope left in this world that the instant arrival of the infinite joy in heaven is always preferred.
(So the teaching goes, if you live such a comfortable life that rendered you to think otherwise, you aren't living like a Christian, you aren't denying yourself enough.)
When I thought about this, honestly I was disappointed because 1. I don't have a such godly outlook and 2. I sincerely am not sure if I would really like to live like that.
Perhaps I am not a true Christian, because when I think of spending an *eternity* asexually, metaphysically and homogeneously worshiping God in unison (and supposedly that's what we all yearn for), wouldn't I miss the drama, the uncertainty, the pain, the ups-and-downs, the rise of heartbeats, the utterly stupidity in love, the colorfulness, of this very imperfect world?
After all isn't happiness a relative state of being? When all sadness is removed from our lives, how are we to feel? To me, this world is so beautiful. All the wars, death, disease and sufferings, aren't they things that follow glories? Pains associated with growing up are what make growing up memorable. Speaking of memories, will we bother to keep them if the only memory left is complete satisfaction? Aren't what break our hearts things that give us utmost joy and catalyze the creation of our finest arts? Doesn't Goethe capture our agony in love beautifully in Die Leiden des jungen Werthers?
Honestly when I though of this subject, I often questioned my faith. If I am a real Christian, why can't I figure it out? Why can't the eternal life, the very thing millions of Saints before me died looking forward to, be enough for me to deny this world? Why am I sheepishly indecisive if the [hypothetical] choice of ascension today comes before me? Is this a sign of a lack of true faith? I don't know, but if I cannot figure this out myself, I doubt others could. Then why am I specially given with this mental capacity unlike the rest of the people who could be easily satisfied with a naive and microscopic outlook? Can I pretend the nonexistence of it? No, because that is a coward and irresponsible philosopher. What we shall never let fear is the fear to think. When the fear to think the unorthodox gets the best of us is the moment the value of our faith dies.
Sigh, why were my eyes opened?
http://www.xanga.com/jujubean45/538228989/item.html
Interestingly I thought of heaven in a very similar [yet scarily heretic] way.
When I was taught that Christians ought to long for the immediate reunion with Christ, I could not get myself to believe that I really would rather go to heaven at this very moment than [supposedly] continue the suffering on this unjust earth. In other words, Christians with the correct attitude of living should have so little hope left in this world that the instant arrival of the infinite joy in heaven is always preferred.
(So the teaching goes, if you live such a comfortable life that rendered you to think otherwise, you aren't living like a Christian, you aren't denying yourself enough.)
When I thought about this, honestly I was disappointed because 1. I don't have a such godly outlook and 2. I sincerely am not sure if I would really like to live like that.
Perhaps I am not a true Christian, because when I think of spending an *eternity* asexually, metaphysically and homogeneously worshiping God in unison (and supposedly that's what we all yearn for), wouldn't I miss the drama, the uncertainty, the pain, the ups-and-downs, the rise of heartbeats, the utterly stupidity in love, the colorfulness, of this very imperfect world?
After all isn't happiness a relative state of being? When all sadness is removed from our lives, how are we to feel? To me, this world is so beautiful. All the wars, death, disease and sufferings, aren't they things that follow glories? Pains associated with growing up are what make growing up memorable. Speaking of memories, will we bother to keep them if the only memory left is complete satisfaction? Aren't what break our hearts things that give us utmost joy and catalyze the creation of our finest arts? Doesn't Goethe capture our agony in love beautifully in Die Leiden des jungen Werthers?
Honestly when I though of this subject, I often questioned my faith. If I am a real Christian, why can't I figure it out? Why can't the eternal life, the very thing millions of Saints before me died looking forward to, be enough for me to deny this world? Why am I sheepishly indecisive if the [hypothetical] choice of ascension today comes before me? Is this a sign of a lack of true faith? I don't know, but if I cannot figure this out myself, I doubt others could. Then why am I specially given with this mental capacity unlike the rest of the people who could be easily satisfied with a naive and microscopic outlook? Can I pretend the nonexistence of it? No, because that is a coward and irresponsible philosopher. What we shall never let fear is the fear to think. When the fear to think the unorthodox gets the best of us is the moment the value of our faith dies.
Sigh, why were my eyes opened?
# posted by Gary Chou @ 12:07 AM 
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