Ladeer&Co.

What kind of man would I like to be?

I want to be an honest man. Wait, I am too often a hypocrite.
I want to be a morally upright man. Wait, I always struggle with rules
I want to be a secure man. Wait, I am very insecure... the list goes on.

*** *** ***

He and I took a road trip to Chicago in our rental—a Mitsubishi Galant. Since it was a special summer for both of us, it was mixed feeling in our hearts. For him it was the beginning of the most grueling year; for me it was the beginning of my last year. There was something else on his mind though…what else bothers men than the love of our life?

*** *** ***

This morning I woke up into candles, well, candles on my bedside table. Strangely something distant in my head was surfacing, and then I gasped, "CANDLES!"

I didn't have a lighter/match, so I decided to turn my burner all the way up last night to light my candles. The thing is, I forgot about it. I slept through the night with my burner on high. When I ran there I saw the electric burner brightly glowing. Within inches were Rubbermaid and plastic bags—items of inflammable.

*** *** ***

Laurie got a phone interview today. Actually it was the third time the employer attempted to call Laurie. Finally Laurie talked to them while driving on the highway. Maybe it did not go well at all like she said, but the employer still offered her an in-person interview the next Monday. Now you have to understand Laurie and I have been looking for a job since the beginning of May. We decided to encourage each other along the way. But Laurie practically did not do a single thing about this potential employment while I practically did everything there was to be done for dozens of employers.

I still remain jobless.

*** *** ***

Between him and the love of his life, it was a kind of on-and-off relationship that had gone on for years. Collected hesitation, peer pressure and series of unfortunate events led to a not very satisfying ending. To sum it up, it was a bad case of stripes.

The funny thing was as we drove to Chicago, there was this humongous storm overcastting the land right in front of us, but not directly above us. What was ahead was this mushroom looking giant mountain of black cloud whereas behind us was the sunny cloudless sky. In a way it foreshadowed the coming of a new year, a year full of challenges and heartbreaks.

*** *** ***

I thanked God for being alive. Burning down half of an apartment was something the unemployed I could not financially afford.

*** *** ***

I told Laurie that, "You practically didn't do anything! God really blesses you!"
She said, "I think He knows how hard it is for me to be motivated to look for a job and He knows how scared I get. So thru Lindsay Bye He found a job opening for me."

*** *** ***

Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. And those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why.

*** *** ***

Through the burner episode and Laurie's interview, I think God showed me who is in control of our lives. He not only reminds me that my breath is at His mercy, He alone is the giver of blessings. I shall trust in no other god but Yahweh.

*** *** ***

The darkness did pass.

A year had gone by. Then two years had past. The bad case of stripes was cured by the magic lima beans. Perhaps the sheer force of growing up did the trick; perhaps courage found its footing.

He and she are finally together.

*** *** ***

When the sun shines, it did shine out the clearer.

Because they chose to honor each other above themselves, more importantly they chose to honor God before themselves, they remained pure. The girl who once guarded her heart against all troll and dragon, had given the whole piece that she reserved for the prince who truly deserved.

*** *** ***

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than that bond of love—the love that they dedicated before God. In that love she learns submission and obedience. In that love he learns sacrifice and forgiveness. They are the submission and obedience of Jesus to the Father; they are the sacrifice and forgiveness of Jesus for us. That is the most powerful love, so powerful that knights die defending, so powerful that kings wage war conquering.

*** *** ***

What kind of man would I like to be?
I realized the man I would like to be is the man that I already am—a man after God’s own heart.