Ladeer&Co.

My professor once said that in many churches today people are overly cautious about the physical touch between sexes. Hugs and kisses are done sparingly, if not awkwardly. Of course this phenomenon is more true in a White American church than in a, let’s say, South American church. Putting cultural factors aside, men and women tend to shy away from physical intimacy more so when such act is associated in our society with indecency and promiscuousness.

The physical distance men and women keep comfortably between each other is directly proportional to the magnitude of the impurity existed among them. The purer our hearts are, the lesser do we pay attention to physical boundaries. What I am saying is that, the immoral societal influence is like an antibody injected into our mindsets—our shaped tendency to reject and cringe upon anything resembles lust.

After all according to Gary Chapmen, if physical touch is equivalent with the other four love languages—words of encouragement, giving of gift, acts of service and quality time—why should it be tainted with a negative moral baggage?

Going back to the antibody analogy, do you know that a Rh-negative blood type patient can receive a transfusion of the Rh-positive blood, but only once? After the first transfusion the patient will become sensitized, in other words, develop an antibody against the Rh-positive blood cell. The patient will risk a hemolytic breakdown at the second exposure.

I think that is how our lustful hearts work as well. As our pluralistic culture exposes us with continuous feed of sexual immorality, the natural relation between men and women has become sensitized and risking a hemolytic breakdown. We are created in the image of God. Acts contrary to the created norm are sins. Sexualities embedded in movies, billboard, television are almost entirely contrary to the creation of God. As these exposures bombard us, they make us desensitized and gradually accustomed to them as normal.

We not only have heterosexual porn, men desire lesbian porn, threesomes porn and even more perverted subjects. These things have become as innocent as dinner table jokes or subconsciously tempting ideas (i.e. movies like American Pie 2). I know this is true because I struggle with it personally and have witnessed many others too. In Chicago’s gay district I saw clubs that boldly proclaimed at store front what I thought was actually quite fitting—the “sinsation.” People are capable of pursuing not just the act of homosexual orgy. The desire to fornicate and the skewed gratification from sinning itself is actually real and addictive.

Can we imagine for a moment the perfect relationship between men and women that is in God’s original design? Wariness and doubts are replaced by dignity and trust. That is what is good my friends, and only when we ask God to redeem the sexual ground among us can we enjoy a satisfying genders community.