Ladeer&Co.

I never like the game of chess, but I do see the resemblance of the world in it. Not in the strategy aspect that you are probably thinking though, I don't think those with the superior strategy are guaranteed victors. Unlike chess, we don't play our foes at a level field. We don't begin the game with equal pieces. Outcomes are largely determined by unpredictable and seemly trivial early events.

Life resembles the game of chess in that there are different pieces. Most pieces, half of all, are pawns--the least powerful soldiers that are often dispensable. While more important roles come only in pairs, there is only one king and one queen--the most important and the most powerful.

In a way, the majority of the people in this world are pawns. Regardless how hard they try to move up, there destined to be as many occupying the bottom of the food chain as there are the rest. Upward promotion is coupled by another downward movement so at the end, there are always enough commoners to feed the upperers. To move up, we don't want to stay someone else's pawn, but the queen, or maybe the princesses. (Is that a chess piece?)

In this competition to the top, we plot, we fight, we seek alliance and we make strife. We stand on other pawns and schmooze the king, we shuffle off mortal coil up and down it goes.

That is not how life resembles chess.

Life resembles chess in that, whether you are a prowling pawn, a proudly knight, or a precious princess, you are only a piece in the palm of your Lord. At His mercy, He gives and takes away. Even if we summon all the wisdom and trickery of this world, we still can't outwit the one that moves us.

On any given Sunday, the trophy doesn’t go to the team that gives a hundred and ten percents. At the top of their games, professional football players spend their whole lives training to be the best at their positions. Exposure to impossible expectation starting in high school calms the quarterback at fourth-and-17, so he can pass to his receiver with grace. Yet one out of every two teams must lose, on any given Sunday.

The world order—insomuch taught by our schools and parents—is based on the noble belief of meritocracy. Conditioned as such, I think all of us could spew lengthy gripe for the unfairness done onto us. After a closer look, it is not any noble belief, but greed, hypocrisy, selfness, and narcissism governing the world order.

*** *** ***

The wise man who has seen through the pretentious vanity of it all, is wise to become a predatory opportunist—an opportunist actively seeks out opportunity to exploit without regard to consequence or principles. The wisest man however, stays foolish and places his hope somewhere else, for he knows the foolishness of this world is wisdom. He knows the world is a perpetual and universal container of broken dreams and unmended wounds, a collection of unjust ironies and subtle betrayals. In that unsatisfied longings, we find our true home in heaven, where every tear is wiped away, every unjust undone, every wrong made right.

500 thousand years ago when we hunted elephants for dinner, there was as much Human Rights (hereinafter as “HR”) as predators swallowed their preys. During Biblical time, “an eye for an eye” was a fair standard, while Jesus and the great Chinese thinker Mencius pioneered the “general love” which dictated the same amount of universal love toward all mankind. In other words, I would just die for you as I would die for my mother; I would do onto others as I would want to be done onto me. Therefore the importance of so-called Human Rights is a rather recent philosophy I must say. (Certainly an emperor or a king would be far more concerned about supremacy and totalitarianism…)

But at those earlier time (let’s say pre-industrial), human values were relative low compared to now. (And let’s not say it was undervalued then, because it might be overvalued now.) High infant mortality rate and troubling diseases caused mankind succumb to fate. Slavery, servitude, sacrifice, class, child labor, were largely overlooked; the ability to breathe, to live on, to survive, was in itself precious and mystical. Without dental hygiene, clean water, pesticide and oven gloves, who really paid attention to “child safety seat on the horse cartridge” or “reasonable work load for a 12 years old” or “the emotional health of the 4th wife” when the daily life were considerably more stressed?

Then thousands of years later when technology enabled the building of clock, water mill, steam engine, and every other belts and whistles within Monticello, surely the time seemed to ripe for entertaining the equality of man. Oh no no no, the man of the year and the writer of the most valuable piece of American history himself, kept a shack-full of slaves as a “necessary evil,” as the man on the nickel aptly put.

I am not sure the exact wording, but I am sure he went something to the tone of “all men are created equal.” Let’s not argue the irony of the definition of “a man” and “three fifth of a man” later in the section in regard to voting right, I think we all agree that the issue of HR is not clear cut. It was never clear cut to greatest thinkers, founders of our nation, could it be clear cut to you and me?

A very prestigious professor of my MBA program once said, at the last mesmerizing lecture he gave us, that the idea of all man are created equal was both brave and questionable. Is it true? He wasn’t sure. What he was sure, half-jokingly, was that all men are all distributed in a bell shape curve! That’s the statistical truth of the year, isn’t it?

I think any guiding philosophy, or any moral value, is transient, is modernly tangential to its time. Every period of human civilization requires a set of rules to govern its peace and ensure its common welfare. May it be slavery that does the job (that’s otherwise undoable), may it be polygamy that took care the need (of widows as a result of most men dying from warring), now we have found the shiny term Human Rights for you and me to uphold. We need this term as much as we need freedom, democracy, or whatever belief, because we all need something to hold on, to put our faith in, to abide to, in order to sustain our national identity, in order to justify our international campaign, in order to leave something to our posterity.

What Human Rights really entails, is really a semantic that is up to you and me, and our children, and their children to define and modify.

(originally published on my private blog on January 30th, 2008.)

The topology surrounding Las Vegas is very interesting. Well, it is interesting to people who never live extensively in the desert. When one imagines desert, either a flat horizon filled with sand or continuously repeating sand dune comes to mind. In reality though desert (at least the desert outside Las Vegas) is just as hot, but not as predictable.

First of all, though it never rains, the sky is not necessarily plain. Clouds of all shapes and kinds, even dark and angry ones, often come and go. Inhabiting the land are all sorts of cactus and bushes. What more surprising are tall mountains in the backdrop, mountains so tall that clouds are visibly blocked. Then the wind, the fast moving dust carrying wind, blowing across the road from east to west, like an army of ghost piercing through drivers and passengers on the highway. Switching the AC in my car to recycle mode, I braced myself for the impact of the dust storm.

A music CD that I just burnt accompanied me on the road. I couldn't really decide what Third Day was singing when the lyric went, "Just to be with you, I'd do anything." I thought what he meant was that we would do anything to be with God, after all, the theology that God wants to be with us was kind of strange.

Singing along, soon the later verses made me realize it was God who was singing to us, that to be with us, He'd do anything. Listening to this song over and over again brought me to tears and sobbing.

Who am I that He, the almighty God, would do anything to be with me? I mean, come on, there are only few people in the world, ever, would have said that-few of my exes and my parents, that's it. But He, He says He would do that, that He actually wants to be with me so much, that He would do anything for me...why?

As if this is the same desert, as if this barren sand dune was Golgotha, I can see a cross standing on top of that hill. As I drive through the boiling heat, I imagine His cross standing right there, telling me how much He loves me and wants to be with me.

Pulling into the parking lot, right to the backdoor of my condo, I shut off the engine. The parking lot seemed to be quite empty at midnight on a Friday, perhaps the predominant university population had not returned to town from the summer. I lifted the switch on the metal fence that led into the back porch, stepped up the stair and quietly slide open the glass door to my kitchen. The inside of the house through the vertical blinds was pitch black. As I weaved through the blinds, I wondered if the condo remained intact, since I did not lock it when I left. Taking off my flip flops, the uncarpeted kitchen floor felt cold on my bare feet. Not wanting to disturb the darkness, I purposely did not turn on any light. After I found the stair and locked all doors, I climbed up the stair to where my bedroom was.

The futon that I bought and built yesterday, in its new green stripes sheet, lied flat in the middle of the room. On one side of the wall was my table and an arm chair. On the opposite corner there sat a light green square coffee table, right next to a light green file cabinet. Scattered on my desk sat various keepsakes that I unpacked out of some nine boxes that had been sitting in the storage for the past four month.

The temperature in San Luis Obispo, like its weather, is perfect tonight. During the day it never got hot, I had to wear a jacket for the most of the time. During the night it is quite chilly, even in July, just cold enough to comfortably snuggle in my blanket with the window opened, opened into the mysterious California Central Coastal night.

Second day in California, alone, at the doorstep of the next chapter of my life, my heart is filled with excitement and anticipation. Many questions are yet to be answered, and I can't wait to find out.

Admittedly the human civilization has come a long way from the days when women were inferior and black people were slaves. On second thought, on many parts of the world women still are treated unequally and discrimination on religious or racial ground continue to prevail. Fortunately at least on this continent that we call home, we do enjoy the fruit of our past fights for freedom.

Men are not the people who can file for divorces. Women too can choose whom they mate. As a result of that, sadly for men and perhaps for women too, the word "cheater" is not exclusive for the owners of Y chromatid (the singular form of chromosomes).

Embedded in human and not immune to Christians are emotions such as jealousy, lust and hate. Unorthodox as it may sound, love and hate are often neighbors of a very thin line that often gets blurred by betrayal, greed or, did I mention, betrayal.

Responding to the reciprocal of the most powerful and enchanting force of nature--love, we might become vengeful or at the very least, wanting the world to know about the wrong done to us. Not uncommon to us, organizations such as PETA or Voice of Martyr actively publicize injustice done to animals or Christians, so why should we feel otherwise about one of the most hurtful thing that could be done to a heart, regardless how excusable it be?

Yes, I was not a good boy friend to her. I constantly blamed her for the failing of our relationship, judging that I needed a more mature girl friend. Maybe I did not cheat on her, but in a way I did. I made her believe in me and give her heart to me, but at the same time I trampled on it and tore it apart. I was a jerk and I still am.

I had been on the receiving end of what I did to her, and I hope she finds comfort in knowing that I found it to be uncomfortable, to say the least.

My comfort however is rooted in seeing that she is doing well, and most importantly, in a relationship with someone who clearly deserves her. Her boyfriend now deserves her because he sees her values; he deserves her because unlike me, he is not arrogant and egocentric. Above all else, he deserves her because he is loyal to her.

Sad, isn't it, that promises and happy memories could be so transient in life? The most beautifully adorned ceremony cannot give any more assurance to a happy marriage. Just like all things beautiful are prone to break, seemingly nothing in this world we relentlessly try to clutch stay.

Often when we Christians--the majority of my audience--encounter such emotions as anger and betrayal, after a time of expressing those emotions, we act like laureates of Nobel Peace Prize. We actually apologize for the said expressing! Well, maybe not exactly an apology, but I assure you will not lack good-hearts people who try to bring you to your senses, in other words, talk you into believing that in expressing your feeling online or staying angry, you are being, ah, what is the word, "unfair."

Regrets of what you had expressed, you might take down what you wrote, verbally apologize, or even sincerely feel sorry. Oh brothers, do not let those well wished words of your loving friends turn you into a bitch of the transgression done to you. What you feel is as valid as any victim of any crime. If the villain is sipping the prized wine of his or her tasteless deed in a cozy fireplace room snuggling with his or her newfound (and God forbid it to last) love, you do not need to feel sorry at the least bit.

Really, I don't hate cheaters, because we all are weak and capable of the same crime. I won't even look down on them, otherwise I have to look down on myself first. But seriously, when someone wrongs, he or she has the unpleasant duty of facing the consequences of it.

Yes, you appear to be a bigger person when you actually feel bad for expressing your anger, for letting the world know the wrong done to you, but at the same time you are also a coward in my book, a coward that cannot even stand up after losing a fight, a coward that allows other people's petty, worthless and inconsiderate advices to make you feel sorry for your anger that you absolutely have the every right to have. After all, we all must understand that the burden of apology is rested not on the victim, but those who had chosen to add another weight of regret, shame and guilt to their already tragic lives, like mine.

(This article was originally posted on my personal blog here and promoted to this [more formal] blog on Oct 28, 2006 for Digg.com access.)

"Every revolution begins with the power of an idea and ends when the only idea left is power."

The TIME cover story on cnn.com sheds light to what has gone wrong within the GOP. It also makes me think whether we shall take a different approach toward corruption. Our traditional expectation of a corruption-free government is perhaps impossibly idealistic; such expectation only breeds coverups. Instead of zero-tolerance for corruption, why don't we manage corruption like how we manage the UV ray (by using sunscreen accordingly)? We shall just publicly admit our shortcoming and forgive one another; intervention is administered as need arise.

For example, if you are a congressman and a pedophile, go public about it! Keep your job as long as you don't serve on the missing children committee. If you once a while send a distasteful email, well, we will forgive you.

What I am saying is of course impossible to implement, so we will forever discover new scandals from respectful figures. What the Republican bothers me most though, is how they are so damn legalistic, or how this article puts it--their lofty moral ground. If you ain't a priest, don't try to act like one because you ain't fooling nobody! (Actually now days, even if you are a priest...) You see, I think the Democrats are more with the people, truer, less perfect and closer to the working class.

Actually this is like the two types of learner theory. To learn about alcoholism for example, some people prefer to learn from a MD who never drank (the authoritative model), while some people prefer to learn from an ex-alcoholist (the incarnational model). I gravitate toward the later kind, maybe because I recognize myself as the most wrestch person constantly. Maybe that is why certain "moral perfectionists" with their naive and sheltered pursuits simply disgust me.

Excerpt from the article:

"If I fold up my tent and leave," said Dennis Hastert (Speaker of the House, the head of the Gang of Eight), "then where does that leave us? If the Democrats sweep, then we'd have no ability to fight back and get our message out."

That may have been the most damning admission yet in the unfolding scandal surrounding Florida Congressman Mark Foley: Holding on to power has become not just the means but also the end for the onetime reformers who unseated the calcified Democratic majority that had ruled the House for 40 years.

Would you choose eternal happiness over eternal sadness?

http://www.xanga.com/jujubean45/538228989/item.html

Interestingly I thought of heaven in a very similar [yet scarily heretic] way.

When I was taught that Christians ought to long for the immediate reunion with Christ, I could not get myself to believe that I really would rather go to heaven at this very moment than [supposedly] continue the suffering on this unjust earth. In other words, Christians with the correct attitude of living should have so little hope left in this world that the instant arrival of the infinite joy in heaven is always preferred.

(So the teaching goes, if you live such a comfortable life that rendered you to think otherwise, you aren't living like a Christian, you aren't denying yourself enough.)

When I thought about this, honestly I was disappointed because 1. I don't have a such godly outlook and 2. I sincerely am not sure if I would really like to live like that.

Perhaps I am not a true Christian, because when I think of spending an *eternity* asexually, metaphysically and homogeneously worshiping God in unison (and supposedly that's what we all yearn for), wouldn't I miss the drama, the uncertainty, the pain, the ups-and-downs, the rise of heartbeats, the utterly stupidity in love, the colorfulness, of this very imperfect world?

After all isn't happiness a relative state of being? When all sadness is removed from our lives, how are we to feel? To me, this world is so beautiful. All the wars, death, disease and sufferings, aren't they things that follow glories? Pains associated with growing up are what make growing up memorable. Speaking of memories, will we bother to keep them if the only memory left is complete satisfaction? Aren't what break our hearts things that give us utmost joy and catalyze the creation of our finest arts? Doesn't Goethe capture our agony in love beautifully in Die Leiden des jungen Werthers?

Honestly when I though of this subject, I often questioned my faith. If I am a real Christian, why can't I figure it out? Why can't the eternal life, the very thing millions of Saints before me died looking forward to, be enough for me to deny this world? Why am I sheepishly indecisive if the [hypothetical] choice of ascension today comes before me? Is this a sign of a lack of true faith? I don't know, but if I cannot figure this out myself, I doubt others could. Then why am I specially given with this mental capacity unlike the rest of the people who could be easily satisfied with a naive and microscopic outlook? Can I pretend the nonexistence of it? No, because that is a coward and irresponsible philosopher. What we shall never let fear is the fear to think. When the fear to think the unorthodox gets the best of us is the moment the value of our faith dies.

Sigh, why were my eyes opened?

What kind of man would I like to be?

I want to be an honest man. Wait, I am too often a hypocrite.
I want to be a morally upright man. Wait, I always struggle with rules
I want to be a secure man. Wait, I am very insecure... the list goes on.

*** *** ***

He and I took a road trip to Chicago in our rental—a Mitsubishi Galant. Since it was a special summer for both of us, it was mixed feeling in our hearts. For him it was the beginning of the most grueling year; for me it was the beginning of my last year. There was something else on his mind though…what else bothers men than the love of our life?

*** *** ***

This morning I woke up into candles, well, candles on my bedside table. Strangely something distant in my head was surfacing, and then I gasped, "CANDLES!"

I didn't have a lighter/match, so I decided to turn my burner all the way up last night to light my candles. The thing is, I forgot about it. I slept through the night with my burner on high. When I ran there I saw the electric burner brightly glowing. Within inches were Rubbermaid and plastic bags—items of inflammable.

*** *** ***

Laurie got a phone interview today. Actually it was the third time the employer attempted to call Laurie. Finally Laurie talked to them while driving on the highway. Maybe it did not go well at all like she said, but the employer still offered her an in-person interview the next Monday. Now you have to understand Laurie and I have been looking for a job since the beginning of May. We decided to encourage each other along the way. But Laurie practically did not do a single thing about this potential employment while I practically did everything there was to be done for dozens of employers.

I still remain jobless.

*** *** ***

Between him and the love of his life, it was a kind of on-and-off relationship that had gone on for years. Collected hesitation, peer pressure and series of unfortunate events led to a not very satisfying ending. To sum it up, it was a bad case of stripes.

The funny thing was as we drove to Chicago, there was this humongous storm overcastting the land right in front of us, but not directly above us. What was ahead was this mushroom looking giant mountain of black cloud whereas behind us was the sunny cloudless sky. In a way it foreshadowed the coming of a new year, a year full of challenges and heartbreaks.

*** *** ***

I thanked God for being alive. Burning down half of an apartment was something the unemployed I could not financially afford.

*** *** ***

I told Laurie that, "You practically didn't do anything! God really blesses you!"
She said, "I think He knows how hard it is for me to be motivated to look for a job and He knows how scared I get. So thru Lindsay Bye He found a job opening for me."

*** *** ***

Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. And those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why.

*** *** ***

Through the burner episode and Laurie's interview, I think God showed me who is in control of our lives. He not only reminds me that my breath is at His mercy, He alone is the giver of blessings. I shall trust in no other god but Yahweh.

*** *** ***

The darkness did pass.

A year had gone by. Then two years had past. The bad case of stripes was cured by the magic lima beans. Perhaps the sheer force of growing up did the trick; perhaps courage found its footing.

He and she are finally together.

*** *** ***

When the sun shines, it did shine out the clearer.

Because they chose to honor each other above themselves, more importantly they chose to honor God before themselves, they remained pure. The girl who once guarded her heart against all troll and dragon, had given the whole piece that she reserved for the prince who truly deserved.

*** *** ***

There is nothing more beautiful in this world than that bond of love—the love that they dedicated before God. In that love she learns submission and obedience. In that love he learns sacrifice and forgiveness. They are the submission and obedience of Jesus to the Father; they are the sacrifice and forgiveness of Jesus for us. That is the most powerful love, so powerful that knights die defending, so powerful that kings wage war conquering.

*** *** ***

What kind of man would I like to be?
I realized the man I would like to be is the man that I already am—a man after God’s own heart.

In the TIME magazine's study on biological effects between siblings, it correlated sexual orientation with biological pathway. This controversial theory will of course face strong opposition from Christian camps. According to their statistic boys with more older brothers have higher tendency to become homosexual. The article stated that in average 3% of male population are gay, but among males with one older bother 4% are gay, with two older brothers 5%, and three older brothers 6%. Here is the excerpt of their proposed theory:

"Bogaert believes the answer may lie in the mother's immune system. Mothers' bodies naturally recognize boy fetuses as slightly more alien than girl fetuses, since all of us carry sex-specific proteins in our bloodstreams. Some mothers may develop antibodies to those male proteins. In subsequent boy pregnancies, Bogaert theorizes, the antibodies may cross the placenta and affect regions of the fetal brain that determine sexual orientation."

Let me make this clear. The hypothesis presented in the above exercept is no more credible than my aunt's wishful thinking. There exist so many levels of variables between sexual orientations of a boy (an area of psychology) and fetal development (an area of developmental biology) that renders this theory unconvincing. In other words, between the proposed "fetal antibody interaction" in gastrulation and many years later when a boy finds out that he is gay, his older brothers could have contributed to the boy's gayness in many possible ways (if this correlation was even true) less to say biological.

A rule-of-thumb for scientific research is that if you read about a hypothesis in the newspaper before the data was confirmed in scholarly journals, the research is almost never credible. Credible scientists take their research seriously and publicity carefully. Unless this study had indeed discovered the protein that they claimed to affect the certain area of the fetal brain, their claim will remain imaginary unworthy the name of science.

When one asked me if I would lie to save someone’s life, without hesitation I said “yes.” By the way, there are people who think under no circumstance shall a moral person lie (i.e. giving a false testimony).

This is how I see it: If I have the chance to save someone’s life and I do not, is it not equivalent to murder? Between murder and lying I will gladly choose the lesser of two evils.

To live in this intricately complicated world today we must know how to make difficult decisions—decisions that make certain sacrifice and compromise. I believe historically people who fail to realize this reality are responsible for the inaction that left millions in political or social turmoil.

On the other hand a joke goes like this, "No body died when Bill Clinton lied."

Granted President Bush most likely did not mislead the world on purpose, but undeniably the cost on America's credibility and popularity was mammoth. While President Bush due to his religious conviction is considered a more moral person than President Clinton, the measure of a leader in this case perhaps depends far less on one's moral character than one's job competency.

Most people in the world do not develop beyond stage four. They obey a law because the idea of law is well established and noble. They follow a certain standard because it is legitimized by their influencing authorities—their culture, religion, Bible, school, society, etc. For example people blindly accuse homosexual because Bible says it is wrong; terrorists strap bombs to their bodies because their leaders (who operate on higher level) exploit their nationalism.

When Kohlberg did this study on German troops who blindly carried out the Final Solution, these German (like the rest of mankind) had a clean conscience in doing what they were told to do. Surprising as it may sound, if you were a German soldier at that time and place, you might also do the exact same thing with a clean conscience.

In fact over the course of Church history Christians who always take pride in their Biblically found moral values have done plenty awful things in names of God. From being subjects of fierce persecutions, Christians after Constantine’s mandate conversion became the perpetrators of aggression and slaughtered countless Jewish women and children. Even in recent history the fact that Christians had been slow or almost non-existent in voicing social injustice proves the failure of their fourth-stage moral capacity. We need not touch Christian’s linkage to white supremacists movement such as Ku Klux Klan, the strongest proponent for the Civil Right movement Dr King did not fight for the Black because he was a Christian. He fought for the black because he was one of them.

(What moved humanity forward? I dare say the accumulation of our mistake in our history moves us along.)

I have had conversations with many people both within and outside of the Moody community; both American and Chinese. When I gave them the hypothetical scenario that, “will you speed on a highway if you are carrying your critically-wounded best friend to a hospital?” More than half of my surveyees answered against speeding even in such extreme condition. Some argued that the Bible explicitly commands us to obey the authority thus the breaking of any single law constitutes a sin. Others with weaker argument say that, “speed limit is imposed to protect us, you might kill someone else while trying to save your best friend’s life. I am sure your best friend wouldn’t want that!”

This post is not to dissect how the above arguments fall apart in scrutiny with the intention of the Bible (and they fall). In my seeing of two countries, four states, and many Christian organizations I can testify to you that most of the great thinkers and leaders for our government and religion are men (and women) of great wisdom.

This post however does want to point out how dangerous it is to constrain ourselves in the fourth stage moral development. How do we discern right from wrong? How do we make moral decisions? We have to go beyond the fourth stage.

In the fifth stage we start to acquire two sovereign principals: the inalienable rights of a person and the democratic process in upholding the right of all people. The husband has to steal the drug because the wife has a right to live. When the right and the legal responsibility conflict (they usually do not), one would expect the judge to weigh in the moral value while preserving the legal responsibility by sentencing a light punishment. At this stage things become blurry. Rules and actions are no longer completely right or completely wrong. Often time in our choosing we will take conflicting action. Luckily our judicial system is designed to have a human factor in weighing matters fairly.

Lastly and rarely we operate on the sixth stage of moral development called the Universal Principal. When the fifth stage calls for a democratic process in upholding the dignity and right for all people, it might sometimes fail. For example the majority sometimes would make a decision that is unfair to the minority (i.e. historically the literacy test and poll tax). The sixth stage operates in what is referred to as the “veil of ignorance.” The participant involved in a decision would make the decision without knowing which party the participant would eventually occupy. The pharmacist would decide if he should lower the price or not as if he would assume the identity of the husband or the wife—in other words the decision is made by thinking from every participant’s viewpoint. Simply put, “do onto others as you would wish them do onto you.” That is the golden rule for the sixth stage of moral development and strikingly similar to the teaching of the only perfect life ever lived. “Love thy neighbor as thyself.”

Keith, Reverend Keith, heads a ministry called the Urban Youth Outreach in the heart of Englewood. Our three-person team from Moody (Katie, Walterene and I) was assigned to Keith to help him with community assessment as part of our survey training.

A short, bold guy with scruffy clothes, Keith radiated street-smartness and an energetic spirit. It was not hard to spot Keith, being the only white guy Keith was visible on the block.

There was something different about Keith’s block. Whereas the usual passing of faceless pedestrians, people seemed to loiter around Keith’s house. Instead of unconnected bystanders, there existed a kind of acknowledgement, a kind of recognized bond between them. They were not exactly doing anything in particular, but as a connected whole they knew exactly what was going on.

A “connected whole” or not, this was a group of people, a culture, that was frightening and at the same time intimidating to me. But apparently it was not to him. Living in that house in the thick of Englewood Keith seemed at ease with the people. His scruffy outfit and dirty fingernails actually fit the backdrop quite well. As he mingled, exchanged small talks and bodily communication with the crowd, it seemed to be an unfamiliar language for me to decipher.

After Keith had a pleasant talk with this kid, Keith told us his story. Apparently this guy had “borrowed” Keith’s truck last night. Keith managed to find out, through the street network of the “connected whole,” and retrieve the truck to its rightful owner.

“What? He just took your truck? Did you know him?”

“I know him now.” Keith said nonchalantly.

Apparently Englewood is governed by some different set of foreign rules. To imagine what would I have done if my truck was stolen, I would have probably filed a police report and within hours notified my insurance company and demanded a check. In Englewood however I probably would not last a day. In Englewood you need to know the people, because they are all a connected whole.

“Is it safe here?” It was one of those stupid question that you knew it was stupid to ask but you still ask stupidly anyway.

“Do you see that hole? 3 feet below my roof? There?” Keith pointed to the wall of the second floor of his house. “That’s a bullet hole. You will be fine, because people don’t start shooting until it’s later in the night.”

(to be continued.)

People growing up in a morally sheltered background tend to have an incomplete moral development. I call these people legalistic. You can see them more often among conservative crowd such as evangelicals (Protestants). There probably were not enough stimuli to challenge their moral belief so they simply see things in black and white. You sometimes hear them defending themselves by misquoting “moral absolute” and mislabeling their opponents “cultural relativists.”

A person’s moral development has several stages determined by how a person reasons for justice. Roughly speaking a child starts off with a consequence-based moral standard—a wrong is worse when it inflicts/triggers grater amount of damage/punishment. Later children learn to look at motives behind their action—someone who breaks a jar from stealing cookies is more wrong than someone who breaks 15 jars from trying to help washing them. Then as we grow up we start reasoning beyond individual concern into social concern. According to Lawrence Kohlberg who perfected this theory, at the fourth stage a person starts to have social order in mind when judging moral issue.

For example, shall a husband steal the only drug that can save his wife from a pharmacist who is unwilling to lower the selling price that the husband cannot afford?

A stage one would reason, “no, he shouldn’t steal because it will be punished by law.” However someone at stage two would recognize the life dilemma and reason in these ways, “yes he shall steal otherwise his wife would die (the consequence),” or, “no, he shall not steal otherwise he might be put into jail for longer than he could afford (again, consequence).” A stage two child no longer considers the event strictly in its punishment, but also weighs in consequence. Their standards both remain individualistic.

Moving outside of the egocentric realm, someone at stage three (usually teens) would argue that people are expected to act in “good” manner such that a husband cannot let his wife die. They would recognize that it is the pharmacist’s fault for the husband’s transgression.

Then people at stage four think of the society as a whole. They would have greater concern with the maintaining of social order. They reason that the husband should not steal the drug because laws must be upheld in order to maximize the benefit of all stakeholders. Conversely if everyone acts what he sees right, chaos would transpire.

(to be continued)

“We increasingly see that people around the world are flocking towards a main focal point—that is the Almighty God.”

Religious zeal just like communism or slavery was thought to be extinguished inevitably by the spread of democracy, modernization, globalization and capitalism. Greater political freedom around the world breeds more secular societies. In the reality this is not true.

Not only has modernization in technology and communication enhanced the reach of prophetic political movements, democracy has become a tool for religious faction to legitimately seize control of the government. If democracy is giving people a voice, people want to talk about God. When Hamas caught State off guard by winning the Palestinian parliament election, they proclaimed in green banner, “There is no God but God, and Muhammad is His Prophet.” Such surge of religious victories are not uncommon in recent decades by both sons of Isaac and sons of Ishmael.

Iranian Revolution in 1979, the rise of Taliban in Afghanistan, the Shia revival and religious strife in Iraq, Sudan’s Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Hindu nationalist nuclear weapon test in 1998, and even American foreign policies on sex trafficking, Sudan, AIDS, religious freedom have been the work of religious lobbyists, pioneers or factionist. The strongest predictor for the 2004 Presidential election was not gender, age or class, but religion.

In recent 30 years people have become increasingly religious. From 20th century to the 21st, world population belonged to the four major faiths grew from 50 to 64 percent. (Though Christian faith declines in America, Christian religion as a whole is booming in Africa, Asia and South America where countries have more Christians than America. Now think twice to say America is the Christian nation.) While Western countries attemp to separate religions from their governments, the marriage of religion with politics is often welcomed, if not demanded, by people around the world. 91% of Nigerians and 76% of Bangladeshis agreed that religious leaders should be more involved in politics. Most Arabs polled in June 2004 said that they they wanted the clergy to play a bigger role in politics. In the same survey, majorities in Morocco, Saudi Arabia, Jordan and UAE cited Islam as their primary identity, trumping nationality. (We can't understand the war we are fighting until we get this, this is as religious as it gets.)

As religions have growing influence over people and thus the democratic governments, religions are shaping the future of the world in political movements, wars and responsibilities. Perhaps the most efficient way for a person to make an impact in the global politics is no longer getting his JD degree, but becoming a clergy. Peace for the war between two sons of Abraham begun at Genesis 16:12 is never going to come until the end of time.

“We increasingly see that people around the world are flocking towards a main focal point—that is the Almighty God,” Mahmound Ahmadinejad, the President of the Islamic Republic of Iran, in a letter to George W. Bush, President of the United States.

Bibliography: Timothy Samuel Shab, Monica Duffy Toft, “Why God is Winning,” Foreign Policy Jul/Aug06, Washington, DC.

A while ago there was a public lynching on a college student who led her dog poop on a Korean subway train and upon being confronted by an elder she refused to clean up. Because her act was caught on a mobile phone camera and shared online, the transpired aftermath included a joint identification effort, countless harassment, public exposure, sermon illustration in North America, international news and finally the separation from her college. I mentioned it in this post.

Privately I believed Near Eastern Asian Culture is more susceptible to this kind of public behavior. Due to compact community and a socialistic culture (the disfavor of individualism), people in Near Eastern Asian Culture tend to become demagogically chauvinistic. For example I had observed pulsatile yet ephemeral crazes for certain trend in Taiwan that could only be characterized as fanatical or plain crazy--people queued for hours to buy: the new donuts, the new egg-tart, the new Milk Ramen, the new lottery ticket, or even the new Hello Kitty from McDonald's Happy Meal.

Several news today however, made me question perhaps my idealized faith in the maturity of American education and culture was flawed.

• The public lynching and eventual arrest (in a rather positive, though intrusive, way) of a girl who possessed a stolen cell phone. here
• The cold blood murder staged as a medal worthy fight by seven Marines. here
• Six wardens (correctional officers) traded drugs with female inmate for sex by force and intimidation. here

Or perhaps, American is just like any culture of its collage, vulnerable to sin.

My professor once said that in many churches today people are overly cautious about the physical touch between sexes. Hugs and kisses are done sparingly, if not awkwardly. Of course this phenomenon is more true in a White American church than in a, let’s say, South American church. Putting cultural factors aside, men and women tend to shy away from physical intimacy more so when such act is associated in our society with indecency and promiscuousness.

The physical distance men and women keep comfortably between each other is directly proportional to the magnitude of the impurity existed among them. The purer our hearts are, the lesser do we pay attention to physical boundaries. What I am saying is that, the immoral societal influence is like an antibody injected into our mindsets—our shaped tendency to reject and cringe upon anything resembles lust.

After all according to Gary Chapmen, if physical touch is equivalent with the other four love languages—words of encouragement, giving of gift, acts of service and quality time—why should it be tainted with a negative moral baggage?

Going back to the antibody analogy, do you know that a Rh-negative blood type patient can receive a transfusion of the Rh-positive blood, but only once? After the first transfusion the patient will become sensitized, in other words, develop an antibody against the Rh-positive blood cell. The patient will risk a hemolytic breakdown at the second exposure.

I think that is how our lustful hearts work as well. As our pluralistic culture exposes us with continuous feed of sexual immorality, the natural relation between men and women has become sensitized and risking a hemolytic breakdown. We are created in the image of God. Acts contrary to the created norm are sins. Sexualities embedded in movies, billboard, television are almost entirely contrary to the creation of God. As these exposures bombard us, they make us desensitized and gradually accustomed to them as normal.

We not only have heterosexual porn, men desire lesbian porn, threesomes porn and even more perverted subjects. These things have become as innocent as dinner table jokes or subconsciously tempting ideas (i.e. movies like American Pie 2). I know this is true because I struggle with it personally and have witnessed many others too. In Chicago’s gay district I saw clubs that boldly proclaimed at store front what I thought was actually quite fitting—the “sinsation.” People are capable of pursuing not just the act of homosexual orgy. The desire to fornicate and the skewed gratification from sinning itself is actually real and addictive.

Can we imagine for a moment the perfect relationship between men and women that is in God’s original design? Wariness and doubts are replaced by dignity and trust. That is what is good my friends, and only when we ask God to redeem the sexual ground among us can we enjoy a satisfying genders community.

It is an unspoken knowledge that there are two Chicago. There is the Mayor Dailey Chicago where tourists visit, where residents jog alongside Lake Michigan, where business transacts, and where vibrant shopping and sightseeing take place. Then there is the Black Chicago.

When you enter the South side of Chicago no longer do you see street clean and roads nicely paved. Instead you will see the poverty-stricken repercussion of urbanization. The most notorious neighborhood of the South Side is the 40,000 inhabitants Englewood community where absurdly high 43% of people living under poverty. More than half of the 98% black resident receives food stamps. The medium annual household income is just shy of $19,000.

Poverty comes with a sense of hopelessness, as people struggle to find dignity in the employment condition, crimes ensue. Englewood constantly has the highest murder rate in Chicago, many times higher than the city average. Here are some chilling statistics: Almost 30% of Englewood residents had been a victim of a violent crime. Half of 203 high school students surveyed had eye-witnessed either family member or friend stabbed, shot or killed; 20% of the students had family members been raped.

In a community like Englewood it is common to have a crumpled family structure. Like many other such communities, single parenthood (mother) is the norm. A constant father figure is absent in over 90% of the family due to abandonment or jail time. Male youth has practically zero chance breaking the vicious curse of the environment in which gangs provide them with protection, ascension and belongingness. This problem is exemplified in the disproportionally high percentage of youth—36.3% of the population being under age 18—compared to 17% elsewhere. Adult residents consist mostly of women since large part of adult male has either left the community or been incarcerated.

Last semester two of my classmates (Katie Roy and Walterene) and I carried out a survey project in the Englewood community. During three separate days we interviewed a total of 60 locals by foot. This is an account of what we witnessed.
(To be continued.)

This is a test post for Ladeer&Co.

You are reading the first post of Ladeer&Co. There is no earlier post.

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This is a picture of Blue Ridge Mountain. I took this picture on an USAir flight over Virginia.


This was a picture I took on the Halloween eve.